Does capitalism always have to be so... gaudy?     
 

  

Welcome to the 11 Jan 2000 archive of Stream - you can click the planet to the left to get back to Jimbo's World if you're lost.

        
   STREAM OF urine
CONSCIOUSNESS
   This is the part of the site where I don't have to screw about with formatting, or layouts, or anything else.  I just bang on the keyboard like a diseased monkey, and *poof* - instant content!  Guess what part of the site's most likely to get updated on a regular basis?  Right.   
    
11 Jan 2001
08:35 Kissing Hank's Ass (Baldghoti)
Recently, I came across a piece of satire that would appear to me to be the finest piece of satire written in the second half of the 20th century.  I present for your evaluation: Kissing Hank's Ass.

 

This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first:

John:

"Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."

Mary:

Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us."

Me:

"Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His ass?"

John:

"If you kiss Hank's ass, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, He'll kick the shit out of you."

Me:

"What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"

John:

"Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever he wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He can't until you kiss his ass."

Me:

"That doesn't make any sense. Why..."

Mary:

"Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?"

Me:

"Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."

John:

"Then come kiss Hank's ass with us."

Me:

"Do you kiss Hank's ass often?"

Mary:

"Oh yes, all the time..."

Me:

"And has He given you a million dollars?"

John:

"Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town."

Me:

"So why don't you just leave town now?"

Mary:

"You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and He kicks the shit out of you."

Me:

"Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the million dollars?"

John:

"My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money."

Me:

"Haven't you talked to her since then?"

John:

"Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it."

Me:

"So what makes you think He'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?"

Mary:

"Well, He gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty-dollar bill on the street."

Me:

"What's that got to do with Hank?"

John:

"Hank has certain 'connections.'"

Me:

"I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."

John:

"But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass He'll kick the shit of you."

Me:

"Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to Him, get the details straight from Him..."

Mary:

"No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank."

Me:

"Then how do you kiss His ass?"

John:

"Sometimes we just blow Him a kiss, and think of His ass. Other times we kiss Karl's ass, and he passes it on."

Me:

"Who's Karl?"

Mary:

"A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's ass. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."

Me:

"And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss His ass, and that Hank would reward you?"

John:

"Oh no! Karl has a letter he got from Hank years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself."

           
   

From the desk of Karl

  1. Kiss Hank's ass and He'll give you a million dollars when you leave town.
  2. Use alcohol in moderation.
  3. Kick the shit out of people who aren't like you.
  4. Eat right.
  5. Hank dictated this list Himself.
  6. The moon is made of green cheese.
  7. Everything Hank says is right.
  8. Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
  9. Don't use alcohol.
  10. Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments.
  11. Kiss Hank's ass or He'll kick the shit out of you.
       
               
           

Me:

"This appears to be written on Karl's letterhead."

Mary:

"Hank didn't have any paper."

Me:

"I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting."

John:

"Of course, Hank dictated it."

Me:

"I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?"

Mary:

"Not now, but years ago He would talk to some people."

Me:

"I thought you said He was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist kicks the shit out of people just because they're different?"

Mary:

"It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right."

Me:

"How do you figure that?"

Mary:

"Item 7 says 'Everything Hank says is right.' That's good enough for me!"

Me:

"Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up."

John:

"No way! Item 5 says 'Hank dictated this list himself.' Besides, item 2 says 'Use alcohol in moderation,' Item 4 says 'Eat right,' and item 8 says 'Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.' Everyone knows those things are right, so the rest must be true, too."

Me:

"But 9 says 'Don't use alcohol.' which doesn't quite go with item 2, and 6 says 'The moon is made of green cheese,' which is just plain wrong."

John:

"There's no contradiction between 9 and 2, 9 just clarifies 2. As far as 6 goes, you've never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure."

Me:

"Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of rock..."

Mary:

"But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of space, so it could just as easily be green cheese."

Me:

"I'm not really an expert, but I think the theory that the Moon was somehow 'captured' by the Earth has been discounted. Besides, not knowing where the rock came from doesn't make it cheese."

John:

"Ha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank is always right!"

Me:

"We do?"

Mary:

"Of course we do, Item 7 says so."

Me:

"You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the list says so. That's circular logic, no different than saying 'Hank's right because He says He's right.'"

John:

"Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to Hank's way of thinking."

Me:

"But...oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?"

Mary:

She blushes.

John:

"Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way. Anything else is wrong."

Me:

"What if I don't have a bun?"

John:

"No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong."

Me:

"No relish? No Mustard?"

Mary:

She looks positively stricken.

John:

He's shouting. "There's no need for such language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!"

Me:

"So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question?"

Mary:

Sticks her fingers in her ears."I am not listening to this. La la la, la la, la la la."

John:

"That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..."

Me:

"It's good! I eat it all the time."

Mary:

She faints.

John:

He catches Mary. "Well, if I'd known you where one of those I wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the shit out of you I'll be there, counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's ass for you, you bunless cut-wienered kraut-eater."

With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off.

"Kissing Hank's Ass" lifted without permission from www.jhuger.com.

 

7 Jan 2001
22:35 No Smile tomorrow (Baldghoti)

I'm afraid that due to an unfortunate arrest, Keith McNally will not be updating Smile tomorrow.

For those of you too lazy to click the link, it would seem that "The Black Panties Bandit", noted for robbing Canadian convenience stores with a pair of black women's panties over his head to conceal his identity, has been apprehended, finally.

I guess it's just me, Jimbo, and Erik now. 

 

12:14 It's late, but it's posted (Jimbo)

Due to the Christmas holidays and my crack-smoking habits (just kidding, motherfucker, shut up), The Conscious Beast was updated way late.  Y'know, like, today.  Just now.

But from now on, if TCB or Smile are late, it's Baldie's or Keith's own damn fault, since they've got file access to their own directories now.   And if CPF will ever update HNNWF! again, I'll set an account up for him too... hint hint Erik, you story-stoppin' mofo.

    

5 Jan 2001
14:24 I personally wouldn't want to call that festering hellhole "the motherland." (Jimbo)

Hundreds of Nigerians arrested, facing flogging for talking to members of the opposite sex - but religious authorities complain that the law is still not being "implemented properly" by police.  (No, they're not calling for leniency.)

An unmarried 17-year old girl is sentenced 100 lashes for getting pregnant, and 80 more for claiming that men slept with her - Gee, I wonder how those wacky Nigerians thought that baby got in there?   Pressured by the court to disclose the name of the baby-to-be's father, Bariya Ibrahim Magazu admitted to having had sex with three different men, one of whom, she reasoned, must be the father.  Unfortunately for Bariya, turns out that under Islamic law, she's therefore guilty of slandering the men, since she could not produce four corroborating witnesses.  Another 80 lashes for you, chickie!

It's not uncommon for large, strong men to be so damaged by 20 lashes that they cannot walk unaided for a couple of weeks afterwards.   30 has been known to be fatal.  Bariya will be receiving her one hundred and eighty lashes sometime in mid-February.

    

14:23 Nigeria: The Magic Kingdom (Baldghoti)

Stupid Nigerian Tricks #1
Stupid Nigerian Tricks #2

Mommy, I don't wanna study wiccanism anymore.

 

14:21 Let's go to the movies! (Jimbo)

An online friend of mine is currently all flustered because she's discovered that her dad checks out pr0n on the family computer.  All I have to say to her is this, just be glad Daddy-o isn't getting his porn from this place!  Now that's disturbing. (the link is relatively safe to click, it's just an online catalog)

 

3 Jan 2001
23:58 With age, the learning curve tends to flatten (Jimbo)
One of the things that frightens me about old age is that, while not everyone grows particularly forgetful or addled or mentally helpless as they grow old... everyone does gradually lose their ability to learn new concepts.  This is, of course, a considerably more frightening prospect today than it would have been a hundred years ago.

After all, the Industrial Revolution might have gotten the ball rolling as far as radical changes in how the world worked, but it still took a solid century or so to really get the ball rolling.  And in a way, it hit today's most-senior citizens harder than it will us... frankly, I don't know whether to pity them for the way they got blindsided, or envy them for the blissful ignorance they enjoyed during their youth.

We know how rapidly the modern world changes - we've become accustomed to medicine, electronics, computers, and even mechanical engineering revolutionizing themselves every few years.  To us, it's just the way life is... after all, we've seen the problems that a radically-changing world imposes on our elder relatives for all our lives, so we can nervously anticipate the same loss-of-touch-with-reality for our own distant future.  But consider, if you will, the expectations that today's 80-somethings must have had when they were young...

If you were 80 today, you would've been born in 1921.   By the time you were ten, in 1931, electric lighting was common (though not universal - rural areas often were not wired for electricity), the automobile had been around for 30 years (and even had an electric starter!), and both radio and television were well-known if not always household objects.

   old fart
  

She can spot a five cent error on a lunch check for four.
 

She can scan 20 Bingo cards and find every G-13 in less than 10 seconds.
 

She has no fucking clue what
      chad.gif (171 bytes) means.

By the time you were 30 - in 1951 - things still hadn't changed a whole hell of a lot, really.  There had been a world war.   Movies had gotten more popular, and they had sound now.  Electric power and the automobile had become universally used throughout the country, rather than just something some folks had.  The television had also become a commonplace device - if you didn't have one, you at least knew plenty of people who did.  In music, big bands were starting to fall by the wayside, with more emphasis being placed on smaller groups like quartets - and rock'n'roll was rumbling on the horizon.

When you were 50 - in 1971 - things had begun to change a bit, but still not really so much.  Rock'n'roll had been big for about 10 years now, and you'd gotten used to (whether or not you actually liked it) hearing electric guitars quite a ways back - though disco was starting to throw you for a loop now.  The TVs were mostly color instead of black and white.  You could record stuff on tapes, as well as listen to it on records.  Cars had gotten quite a bit faster than they used to be, since the overhead-valve design replaced the flat-head design in motors.  Maybe you'd heard the word "computer", but it probably didn't really make any serious impact on you.  "Electronic" was a buzzword, but all it really meant to most folks was that radios and TVs were starting to get much less bulky.  Probably the most amazing thing at this point is the fact that nowadays girls can keep from getting pregnant just by taking a pill.  Things were noticeably different, but you could still get by if you got time-warped here from 1931.

So there go your first 50 years... some culture shock if you went straight from 1931 to 1971, but really, you could deal.  Things were quite a bit faster and looser, but they were still the same things.

We all know what's happened by the time you hit 1991, though... now Grandpa has to deal with computers everywhere, absolutely everything is electronic, suddenly all the best stuff is made in Japan instead of America, you can go for weeks without operating a dial or a mechanical button but there are little electronic touchpads and "pushbuttons" that don't actually push anything everywhere, popular music has broadened out from rock'n'roll through rap, heavy metal, dance, rave, techno, alternative, progressive, and all sorts of other stuff, kids not only have computers, they even have their own specialized home video gaming devices... shit is just getting nuts.  (My own grandfather could never understand - I don't just mean didn't like, I mean could not understand - why people played video games.  He tolerated my love of them, but would often helplessly remark "they're just little lights.  Why does anybody want to pay money to do things with little lights?")

Now, of course, we've hit 2001 and damn near everybody in the country has at least spent some time on a network of millions of computers spanning the globe, most new cars are, quite literally, impossible to do any serious work on without a fully-equipped garage, people actually possess satellite-linked Global Positioning Sensors in their upscale vehicles, Internet dating is not only more widespread than genital warts, it's getting closer and closer to being considered respectable, people are genetically engineering everything from bacteria to corn to goats to do amazing things, the Human Genome Project itself is very nearly complete, the technical knowledge requirements for survival have gotten so steep that even the military will turn you away if you don't have a high school diploma...

And the pace of change isn't slowing down, it's speeding up.  So far, I'm holding up admirably... but then, I'm still not quite 30.  I fear old age... I fear not being able to understand life.

Wish me luck, fuckers... wish us all luck.  We'll need it.

 

New Year's Day 2001
20:28 Re: Vikings (Baldghoti)

...and speaking of Scandanavian men who like to wear funny hats, Smile is updated today!

08:17 The first day of the new millenium (Jimbo)

Has it occurred to anybody else that the date today is 01-01-01?

That's kinda spiffy.

Okay, enough of that, I'm gonna go play Baldur's Gate 2 now.  As Minsc would say, Butt-kicking for goodness!

 

New Year's Eve 2000
18:19 Vikings are still around, but they've changed.  So has Valhalla (Jimbo)
Vikings aren't just a product of their environment - they're a personality type.  No matter what part of history you look at, there's always men with more testosterone than is really good for them... and among those men, there's always one (rather large) group that are too impatient to learn a craft, too irritated by discipline to join an army, and yet just too fucking determined to be richer than Scrooge McDuck to sit home and scrape by.

These men are the group that is destined for Viking.

Now, when most folks think of Vikings, they think of "Viking" in the narrow, milieu-restricted sense rather than the sort of universal sense I've laid out here - they're thinking purely of Scandinavian part-time pirates in 800 AD.  Let's think of those particular vikings for a moment:  They were men.  They were, with a few exceptions, rather large men.  They wore moderately expensive armor (do you have any idea how much a chain shirt was worth in 800 AD?), often as much as a status symbol as an actual tool for getting their Viking work done.  Those same sets of armor were often tacky in the extreme - jesus christ, antlers on your helmet?  What the fuck were you thinking?   "Work" consisted of invading other people's homes, and over any objections they might raise, taking the goods that they had produced away from them and back home again.

Now let's look at the modern age for a moment... let's look at... in-home salesmen.

They are, overwhelmingly, men.  They are, with a few exceptions, rather large men.  They wear moderately expensive suits... often as much as a status symbol as to help them get their real work done.  Those same suits are often tacky in the extreme - jesus christ, buddy, who the fuck told you that bright yellow striped tie goes with that dark pin-striped suit?  "Work" consists of going into people's homes - generally as a result of telemarketing, in which the goal is to secure simple permission to send one of these guys out, whether the homeowner is genuinely interested in the product or not - and, again, to overcome any objection the homeowner might have to investing most of their discretionary income on whatever the hell our protagonist is trying to get them to sign for.

Do we see a pattern here?

But all of this is actually kinda beside the point - well, it's helping you to understand the point, at any rate.  The classical Viking of old dreamed of a place his spirit could go after death, when he could do what Vikings loved to do - get together and swap tales of Viking glory in a smoky, drafty-ass lodge full of various roasted animals, his peers, ale, and tavern wenches.  Only, since this is the PERFECT Viking hall that he goes to when he's dead... well, the lodge is bigger than the ones he and his fellows ever had, the animals are larger, fatter, and better-roasted, the ale gets him even drunker, and the wenches are all not just available by force, but actually willing.

And just as Vikings have changed, so have their meeting practices - the Vikings of today still get together in big lodges and swap stories, and there's still plenty of roasted animal and ale and wenches to go around... but these days, they don't want a drafty old lodge in the middle of a fucking blizzard, by god, they want a resort.  Beaches.  Sand.  Suntan lotion!

But they're still Vikings... and it's still, quite recognizably, Valhalla.  And it's real!  Want proof?

Modern-day Valhalla

Mouseover here to see Valhalla, and mouseover here to hide it from polite society again.

    

Christmas Day 2000
01:58 As Samuel Jackson would say... (Jimbo)

Merry Christmas, motherfucker!

Btw, it wouldn't be Christmas if there wasn't something in the stocking... not even Santa could keep Keith from updating Smile today.   Go get some.

 

21 Dec 2000
17:08 Deck the halls with Fundamentalism... (Baldghoti)

First, I'd like to wish you all a Merpy Chriskwaanzukkah.

Second, I'd like to bitch about my family for a little while.

On Christmas Eve, it has been our tradition to go to church as a family. However, certain life changes have come about in my life in the last couple of years. No, Keith, I'm not gay--calm down.

I am an atheist.

And they know this. I told my parents I was an atheist in either September or November of 1999. In December last year, I worked on Christmas Eve to get out of the ceremony. One would think the parents would get the idea.

Flash forward one year--I'm still an atheist. Christmas rolls around.

Dad: Oh, and Rob--make sure you keep Christmas Eve open for church.
Me: Dad, I'm an atheist, and I wouldn't feel comfortable going.

Silence.

Dad: [a faked blase attitude] Oh, okay, well that's fine. If you don't go, we'll just have to return all your presents.

WHAT the FUCK is THAT? Am I still five years old or something? Fortunately, I know how to call a bluff.

Me: Okay. That's fine.

Then the guilt trip started.

Dad: Why are you trying to upset me and your mother so much? We just want to do something as a family!

Me:

Look, I don't feel comfortable attending a ceremony to a deity who I not only don't believe in, but a church whose followers have caused more suffering in the Western Hemisphere than any other religion! I wouldn't ask you to go to a Black Mass if I were a Satanist, and say "I think it'd be a fun thing to do as a family"!

Dad:

Your mother thinks you hate her.

He's like a record player.

So, basically, I sold out and I'm going to church on Sunday. A compromise--I'll go, but I will not sing any songs, I will not pray any prayers, and I will not light any candles.

The modern Christian church is an ugly little fucker.

 

08:32 Deaf-mutes.   Necromancers.  Ninjas.  UPDATED. (Jimbo)

Haunted Ninja Nun Walrus Fuckers! - Episode Three was posted late last night.  Enjoy.

Oh yeah, and there's even a snazzy new Haunted Ninja Nun Walrus Fuckers! index page now - no more directory browsing for you, ya little fucker!

 

21 Dec 2000
19:56 Why Bush Is Stupid (Chess Piece Face)
Everything that went wrong with the election in Florida is Dubya's own fault. Not because of the "subliminable" attack ads, his inability to form sentences, or his legal team's treachery. No, where he messed up was not utilizing the one foolproof asset his campaign had available.

His daughter Jenna.

Here's a barely legal blond teenage girl with a face like a pop star, who is hung like a heifer, and has a penchant for wearing tight sleeveless tops to public events. What does G.W. do with her during the whole campaign process? Hides her away. From CNN: "'The Bushes' daughters, Barbara and Jenna, will continue to live their lives in private, out of the public and media spotlight. That's the way the Bushes want it,' said Bush spokesman Ray Sullivan."

No other proof is needed to draw the conclusion that Mr. Bush is a retard. His party, the Republican party, is notoriously unpopular with young voters. It's a scientifically proven fact that young men are always horny. Put those two facts together and draw a conclusion. Bush passed up the chance to win voluminous votes away from the opposition and it almost cost him the election. One appearance by Jenna "Juggs" Bush on MTV's Spring Break would have swung both the primary election and the Florida voters totally to his side. Idiot.

Jimbo sez:  God knows the tactic worked for Gore.  Hubba hubba, gimme some'a'dat political poontang!

(Jenna's probably a lot easier than Karenna, though.  I don't think anybody's ever taken pics of Karenna drinking straight out of a keg. )

   bushgirls2.jpg (17304 bytes)
philly5_6.jpg (21490 bytes)

 

18:56 THE TAMARIND SHOW! (Jimbo)

That's right, kiddies... pull up your chairs, because for the first time in the history of the Internet, a man is eating Tamarind on camera for your edification.  Wh00t!

For those of you who don't know what "tamarind" is, the fine folks over at www.bad-candy.com have been calling it the worst candy on the face of the planet for several years now.   It's gained something of a cult following status at this point, kinda like japscat... only (marginally) less unhealthy.  It's been described as having a consistency "like road tar in your mouth", and tasting "salty, sweet, sour, and like old fish."  Wow!  Gotta get me some of that!

Well, Keith M got himself some Tamarind last month so's he could see what that stuff was all about... and discovered the folks at bad-candy weren't bullshittin.  The stuff was so horrid, he wished afterwards that he'd set up a tape recorder so we could listen to his actual agonized screaming and mouth-rinsing, as opposed to the stream-of-consciousness dictation his buddy took down.

AHA... fuck an audio tape, I thought - time to go buy a webcam!

What follows is the first ever video record of one man and his tamarind.  Enjoy.

 

Episode One: Introduction, Product Packaging, and "a scary, heroin-looking brick"
I mention in this clip that the brick is what the folks at bad-candy ate, although later on I got confused and thought they had bon-bons.  No, it was Keith that had bon-bons - Mark & Ben of bad-candy did have something that appears vaguely similar to this.

This stuff is very, very definitely not good.

The Tamarind Show: Episode One (mpg, 12MB)

  

"Apparently, it's some kinda scary heroin-looking brick."

  

Episode Two: Bon-Bon consumption, dissin' Keith M
tamabonbon, tamabonbon, tama bon, bon, bon...

  

   This is the stuff that Keith had.  It really isn't even faintly good - but it's also by far the weakest contestant of the three.

Tamarind bon-bons have rocks in them, though.  Or maybe AD&D dice.  "Roll a Saving Throw against Tooth Breakage, Jimbo!"

The Tamarind Show: Episode Two (mpg, 13MB)

Episode Three: The Paste That Satan Fears
This is so far beyond the taste experience that the Unknown Brick and the Tamarind Bon-Bons provide, well, I just don't even fucking know what to tell you.

Other than that making a Peanut-Butter-and-Tamarind sandwich is a very, very fucking bad idea.

Folks, if you only download one episode of the Tamarind Show, this is the one to download.

The Tamarind Show: Episode Three (mpg, 16MB)

  
In retrospect, I'd rather have consumed a gallon of antifreeze.

 

20 Dec 2000
21:32 Foreshadowing (Jimbo)

Tamarind, baby... tamarind.

Look for a series of three videos sometime tomorrow.

God... the horror.

 

18 Dec 2000
12:24 re: impotent Canadians (Baldghoti)

...and speaking of impotent Canadians, Smile is updated today!

 

08:27 Mars needs women... but Canada needs sperm! (Jimbo)
Feckin' Canadian woosy-boys can't produce, eh?   Actually, it's not just Canada that's buying millions of dollars worth of good ol' red-blooded Amur'can boys' wigglers... they're just leading the pack because, as it turns out, they had to throw away most of their banked sperm after a woman got both impregnated and infected with chlamydia last year at a Canadian fertility clinic. Hey, there's that quality Canadian medical service that Americans keep saying they wish they had!

But Canada's, er, considerably less-than-immaculate conceptions aren't the only reason we're sending the stuff abroad - according to ABC News, it seems that the USA is the world's leading provider in exported human sperm.  Heh.  We might not make the best consumer electronics, but by god, we can service your stinking heathen bitches...

... by proxy, at least.

 

  
17 Dec 2000
11:26 Jesus, Sundays are boring (Jimbo)

... so I often find myself doing really retarded things to pass the time.  Like embarking on a search for the most hideously bad music I can find on Napster.

Dear ghod did I ever outdo myself this time... I found "David Hasselhoff - Flying On The Wings Of Tenderness."   (Entertainingly enough, a guy calling himself "LordDangerous" had it.   LordDangerous, huh? ...riiiiiiiight.)

Frankly, I was damn near as nauseated as I was at the infamous ep-sample.avi. (do not, do not, do not click that link if you don't know what I'm talking about.   I'm serious.  I already told you it's more disgusting than David Hasselhoff's music, don't fucking test me, okay?)

 

15 Dec 2000
08:45 Why I don't like Bush (Baldghoti)

Over at www.gwbush.com, I found the mp3 of George W Bush's statement (mp3, 221K) that cost him any chance of my vote.

It boggles my mind and disturbs me to no end that an arrogant little bastard like Bush can raise a pointed middle finger at the majority of Americans, can make such a stupid statement and STILL get elected. Now, if algore.com was a parody site, and Al Gore had said that algore.com should be illegal, I would vote for Bush--despite his ties to the Religious Right and his pro-life stance.

However, it wasn't Al Gore who said it. It was President-elect Dubya.

I simply don't see how anyone can see Bush as anything but the purest kind of evil.

(In unrelated news, Chapter 4 of The Conscious Beast is up.)

 

 

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