Keith
"It's 5:00am and I'm still not finished... I'm getting delirious..." |
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Keith
"I told you to finish this earlier and not goof off with your friends all day! Damn slacker..." |
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I couldn't believe it... I was getting hard again. I'd already masturbated three times over the past hour, and this was truly starting to vex me. I didn't like to think about Elizabeth that way, like she was a piece of meat, just a sex object... she meant so much more to me than that, my attraction to her went so much deeper... but I couldn't get her body out of my mind some days, no matter how hard I tried. There were times when I thought about her face, about her smile, about her voice, about the idea of being near her, and sex was the farthest thing from my mind. On those days I couldn't have gotten an erection if I'd wanted to. On those days my love was focused, pure... but this was not one of those days. I made my way quietly to Elizabeth's room. This was becoming almost usual, but it still made me extremely nervous. Quite a few times I'd gone to her door, jimmied open the lock and crept inside, but I was still acutely afraid of the idea of getting caught, a scenario I never wanted to have to face for real. Eventually I knew that I'd be able to calm her, to soothe her demons – once she accepted me as her companion, once we were partners in life, I knew that she'd become more stable. But for now, as much as I tried to hide it, I was actually afraid of her. She had no qualms at all about seriously hurting me. But I could help her. I could heal her... Once inside her room I moved carefully across the floor. There was no moon, and the room was very dark. I could barely make out the silhouette of her bed, and suddenly my foot crashed against something. I had no idea what it was, but it skidded loudly across the floor and I stopped, completely paralyzed. My entire body seized in a flood of insane terror, and for an eternity I couldn't breathe. I didn't know what to do, I had no idea how to explain myself, it was all over and I had no plan, no idea at all of what I could do – then I heard a scraping at the window, and through pure instinct I turned around and used my memory of the room to leap into the closet, closing the door and cowering for my life. That was where I got lucky. Oh god, I can't tell you how lucky I was. It was Elizabeth at the window, and she hadn't heard me. She opened it and came into the room, walking over to the lightswitch and turning it on. I couldn't remember if I'd locked her bedroom door behind me, but she didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary. I watched her through a crack in the closet door as she walked across the room. She stopped to pick something up, and that's when I saw what I'd bumped into – a little plastic case that held about a dozen CDs. She put it on her desk, then stretched slowly... I watched her breasts press against the fabric of her shirt and felt myself getting hard again. This was the worst possible time, the most totally inappropriate... I wanted her to take it off, I wanted to see her strip for me, my eyes were transfixed, I focused all my thoughts on the idea of her taking off her clothes... But she glanced around the room, turned the light back off and undressed in the dark. She climbed into bed and rustled around a little, then was silent. I sat carefully down on the floor; I'd have to wait until I was sure she was asleep, then sneak out of the closet and back to my room. I made sure my breathing was quiet and promised myself that I'd never do this again. It had been too close. I really had to stop this sneaking around.
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[ to be continued ]
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