Jimbo's World

18:56

THE TAMARIND SHOW! (Jimbo)

That's right, kiddies... pull up your chairs, because for the first time in the history of the Internet, a man is eating Tamarind on camera for your edification. Wh00t!

For those of you who don't know what "tamarind" is, the fine folks over at www.bad-candy.com have been calling it the worst candy on the face of the planet for several years now. It's gained something of a cult following status at this point, kinda like japscat... only (marginally) less unhealthy. It's been described as having a consistency "like road tar in your mouth", and tasting "salty, sweet, sour, and like old fish." Wow! Gotta get me some of that!

Well, Keith M got himself some Tamarind last month so's he could see what that stuff was all about... and discovered the folks at bad-candy weren't bullshittin. The stuff was so horrid, he wished afterwards that he'd set up a tape recorder so we could listen to his actual agonized screaming and mouth-rinsing, as opposed to the stream-of-consciousness dictation his buddy took down.

AHA... fuck an audio tape, I thought - time to go buy a webcam!

What follows is the first ever video record of one man and his tamarind. Enjoy.

Episode One: Introduction, Product Packaging, and "a scary, heroin-looking brick"

I mention in this clip that the brick is what the folks at bad-candy ate, although later on I got confused and thought they had bon-bons. No, it was Keith that had bon-bons - Mark & Ben of bad-candy did have something that appears vaguely similar to this.

This stuff is very, very definitely not good.

The Tamarind Show: Episode One (mpg, 12MB)

"Apparently, it's some kinda scary heroin-looking brick."

Episode Two: Bon-Bon consumption, dissin' Keith M

tamabonbon, tamabonbon, tama bon, bon, bon...

This is the stuff that Keith had. It really isn't even faintly good - but it's also by far the weakest contestant of the three.

Tamarind bon-bons have rocks in them, though. Or maybe AD&D dice. "Roll a Saving Throw against Tooth Breakage, Jimbo!"

The Tamarind Show: Episode Two (mpg, 13MB)

Episode Three: The Paste That Satan Fears

This is so far beyond the taste experience that the Unknown Brick and the Tamarind Bon-Bons provide, well, I just don't even fucking know what to tell you.

Other than that making a Peanut-Butter-and-Tamarind sandwich is a very, very fucking bad idea.

Folks, if you only download one episode of the Tamarind Show, this is the one to download.

The Tamarind Show: Episode Three (mpg, 16MB)

In retrospect, I'd rather have consumed a gallon of antifreeze.