|Welcome to the 28 Dec - 11 Feb archive of Stream - you can click the planet to the left to get back to Jimbo's World if you're lost.|
|This is the part of the site where I don't have to screw about with formatting, or layouts, or anything else. I just bang on the keyboard like a diseased monkey, and *poof* - instant content! Guess what part of the site's most likely to get updated on a regular basis? Right.|
|11 February 2000|
|17:48||Ohmyfuckingghod... not just an update... the update!|
|I guess it's about time I make
some time to give you guys the update I've been promising you for a month now, huh?
There are a few reasons it's taken me so long to get around to this. First and foremost is the simple fact that, I don't seem to have any fucking time anymore. Seriously. Just ask Kelly - she's one of my bestest friends in the whole fuckin' world, and even she has hardly heard from me at all in the past month. (I'm sorry, Kell, and I still lubv you.) This is about 10% due to the fact that I seem to have acquired a social life somewhat in spite of myself, and about 90% due to the fact that I need a snow shovel just to get out of my office at night... I'm tellin' ya, man, if work doesn't start to ease the fuck up off of me soon, I'm going postal on somebody's ass.
But that doesn't really explain why I started
not updating... just why it took me so long to get around to finally talking about it at
all. To make a long story (temporarily) short, updating wasn't any fun
anymore. In fact, it was getting to be something I really fucking
hated. But you all know I'm more than a little long-winded, so let's lengthen that
short story a
I didn't really figure out why I hated working on my page until, by chance, I wound up talking to Delusion - formerly Comrade Delusion, of the late r33t.org - after the recent DoS attacks that forced r33t to find a new server. I never knew this - and, most likely, you didn't either - but Delusion had actually left r33t quite a while prior to that. Why? The scat porn and racism just got to be too much. In his words:
That got me thinking.
I never did get to the point where I didn't want friends to know about my page. I took - and take - a lot of pride in it, and there's still nothing here that I wouldn't want anyone to know about... well, nothing aside from my dismal failure to update the motherfucker of late, anyway. But there has been a shock pr0n battle going on for the last few months. r33t and Stile and I were all finding one repulsive thing after another... and you know, I've always looked for shocking stuff, because I like to be shocked - but I never dug as hard for skank as I did for a few months there. And I found out something:
The online world is a lot more, well, sordid than it used to be.
It used to be damned near impossible to find anything that could actually disgust me... I've got a pretty damn broad tolerance. Plenty of stuff I would never ever want to do or be involved in, sure, but actual physical disgust? Nah. The (very!) rare case where I did find something that actually disgusted me was even good, because that automatically made it shocking - and I like to be shocked. But these days, it ain't like that anymore... there's plenty of really and truly repulsive stuff out there, in as much quantity as you'd like.
I should fucking well know, because my hard drive was slowly turning into a cesspool.
Which leads me back to my original point... while I never got to where I didn't want friends to know about Jimbo's World, I very definitely did get to the point where I was ashamed of my own hard drive. In the frantic battle to find more and more shocking stuff - with the bar on "shocking" raised to maximum, thanks to all the Nipponese shit porn and puke porn - I was spending hours choking more and more scat through a pitiful dial-up connection every night. Suddenly, all too many hours of my day were taken up by painfully downloading megabytes and megabytes of nasty shit that wasn't even shocking any more - looking at all of it - and then trying to figure out some way that I could fit it into the page. You often don't find a use for something immediately when you download it, but you might want it later... so of course even if you can't find a way to use it right then, you save it.
And suddenly, my hard drive had so much footage of people rubbing shit on each other, puking in each other's mouths, and more... I realized that not only did I hate what I was doing, but that if a friend - even a close friend who understood my love of being shocked - were to sit at my computer and wade through all the crap in my download directories... they'd probably think I was into that shit. I mean, sure, ep-sample is shocking as hell. The first couple of puke pr0n avi's are shocking, too.
But when you've got an hour or so of that kind of footage saved on your own hard drive, how can you pretend that it's still shocking?
Well, now we've established that I couldn't stand what I was doing with the page. But... even though I wrote this page for a long time before I started posting shock pr0n, somehow, I could barely even remember what the hell I used to post before I started with the pr0n. What the hell happened?
Originally, this page was all about a certain style. The name "Jimbo's World" was there for a reason... whether it was on the news page, or in the Ask Professor Stoner column, the real raison d'etre of this whole motherfucker was to, with every post, display a little piece of the world as seen through my eyes... not just to "find neet stuff and post it", but to create a cohesive overall melange with a certain sense of unity - fractured unity, maybe, but unity nonetheless. I don't think I ever really lost that style... but it definitely did start becoming something I "had to do" to fit the shocking stuff in, rather than the reason I did the page to start with.
A couple of months ago, I reposted the infamous ep-sample.avi because people kept asking me about it... and within a day or two, r33t and Stile had both posted/reposted it too, and started looking for more footage of disgusting Nipponese types. Maybe I've got delusions of grandeur, but it always seemed to me like I touched off a fucking three-way scat war between r33t and Stile and myself. No big deal for Stile, really... he's always focussed pretty much exclusively on nastified shit.
But it wasn't very good for me, and it was - eventually - fucking awful for r33t. Because the same thing happened to them that had happened to me - they lost their original focus. When I first found r33t.org, I fell in love with the style there. The themes - slug, monkey, and finally the infamous USSR theme - were just incredible, and there was a sort of bizarrely aloof surrealism to the posts that just kept me captivated. Now don't get me wrong... my personal tastes are a piss-poor indicator of what will keep the unwashed masses flocking to a site, and it's quite obvious that r33t's traffic never really skyrocketed until after it got to the point where it seemed as though someone was shitting or puking in someone else's mouth in every other post.
But if the authors can't stand the work anymore, does it really matter if there are thousands of enthralled readers? Yet again, Delusion himself expresses this one very well:
By now, I guess most of you are thinking "OK, OK, OK... I get it, already. But now what?" Well, "now what" for me is that I quit spending several hours a night looking for incredibly shocking stuff. Oh, don't get me wrong - if something shocks me and makes me laugh, it's fucking well going to find it's way on here... but the odds of me finding something that Stile or the Penismightier boys haven't already found are going to be rather low, if I'm not scouring the newsgroups (and weeding through all the sordid-and-repulsive-but-no-longer-really-shocking filth that they have to offer) on a daily basis.
That also means that the odds of me updating daily or several-times-daily on a regular basis anymore are probably pretty damned slim. Unfortunately, it takes a hell of a lot more time to find - or make - something worthwhile than it does to just resort to downloading everything on alt.binaries.pr0n.disgusting and then post whatever little gem brought the biggest chunks of bile out of the back of your throat.
But that's just the way it is, folks... I came really close to just closing the fucking doors on this site forever, and if I couldn't do something different, I still would. To be perfectly honest with you, I probably would have shut it down sometime in mid-January, if it wasn't for the fact that looking at my own layout gives me w00d. =)
Anyway, thanks for stickin' with me this long... I love you guys.
|24 January 2000|
|19:03||Not really an update|
|Sorry for all the lack of updating. It's
to the point where I can't even credibly get all angsty and act like my
in-your-face-ness-about-not-updating constitutes a sort of faux update in itself... I have
some stuff I need to explain to you guys, and I just haven't been able to make myself sit
down and do it. To make a long story (temporarily) short... my content is going to
undergo a definite change, and I almost certainly won't be updating daily like I was for a
few months there anymore. I will explain more completely soon...
and I'm sorry I've kept you waiting for so long.
It'll all make more sense once I finally get around to "posting for real" again, I promise.
Anyway, did you know tomorrow's my birthday? Yup. Yours truly will be 28... eek. =\
Oh yeah, and the linkbar is all updatified... and you'll notice that now I've finally given you the credit you so desperately longed for, Mr. Joshua.
|16 January 2000|
|22:56||Relocations and restorations|
|20:28||Six minutes Doug E Fresh, yer on|
|I know, I know, I haven't updated in... well...
four days. But man, you just don't fucking know how sick
I've been... oh well. Only two things brought me back from Death's Door: concerned
fan-mail, and the Stiley One himself linking me.
Woohoo! (There may or may not be a third reason for my inspiration to recover
my health... but if I told you, I'd have to shoot you.)
|I am so fucking tired of spammers|
|I certainly hope Granny never sees this...|
|12 January 2000|
|22:26||I think I gots da Ebonic Plague, yo|
|Aaaargh... I'm incredibly ill right now. I
hope that "Cold-Eeze" shit with the zinc really does work, because this sucks.
My eyes are as fucking glazed over as yon Jedi sensei... and I ain't feelin' the Force or the Herb. Suck. Anyway. Thanks to Josh (of FATM fame) for sending me the pic... and when the hell are you going to unveil your surprise, man? Go 'head, you can tell your homey Jimbo. Us psycho Jedi stoners gotta stick together, man. WeRD.
Btw, PeeT and I saw Next Friday tonight... pretty cool, certainly worth the price of admission, but damn was it ever in need of some Chris Tucker (aka Smokey) goodness to make it complete. On the other hand, it did have some serious caliente pie action going on that the first movie didn't. Ay mami! I'm pretty fond of caliente pie.
Please chalk up any excessive smiley usage to fever, it's not my fault. Yes, I have a fever, yes, my eyes are glazed, yes, my fucking hair hurts. I'm going to go collapse now... so go away before I cough on you.
|10 January 2000|
|I don't understand women, and they don't
Seems fair enough, doesn't it?
|18:03||DiCaprio / Bukkake / Loathing for Humanity|
|02 January 2000|
|19:53||Hey, a Y2K issue!|
|Looks like Perl has a couple of minor Y2K
issues... I checked out the guestbook and discovered that Perl was trying to tell it that
it was the year 100. Nice... well, it's all fixified now. I just applied a
little Y2KY Jelly, and now it uses all four digits, so all is well.
New Year's resolution: I will not, in the year 2000, simply knock down every shot of Crown Royal placed in front of me without stopping to think about it. Wow. I finished off all but six shots of a full bottle of Crown Royal all by myself... and let me tell you something, the hangover I was sporting yesterday was something out of fucking legend.
|Music News in the Year 2000: Trent Reznor becomes newest Back Street Boy|
|New Year's Eve 1999|
|13:21||Jimbo's Slice of the Year 1999 (Got Pie?)|
|Well, I'm going to have a little Y2K crisis of
my very own tonight - that is, I'm going to go get completely boofy blitzed at a friend's
I just figured I ought to have some "processor problems" in the morning.
Other than that, of course, life will be absolutely peachy, at least in this country. Although, here's a nifty idea for you: at about 11:45 PM tonight, go find a phone somewhere in the house where nobody ever uses the phone. Take it off the hook. When the stroke of midnight hits, arrange to be "in the bathroom" or whatever, but secretly what you're really doing is sneaking out to the circuit breaker... at precisely midnight, throw the main breaker! POOF, the power is out, and when somebody goes to pick up the phone, it's dead too! What fun, eh?
(If you're under 18 and live with your parents, by the way, I did not tell you to do that, and I'll call you a fucking liar if you say I did. Fair warning.)
Remember that Y2KY Jelly pic I posted a few days ago? Wonder what the hell it was for? Well, I got a pretty entertaining explanation from The Welsh Tr0ll... in fact, it was entertaining enough that I'm going to dredge the picture up again:
|28 December 1999|
|19:28||Guestbook-spamming ass pirates|
|Now, I realize that not too long ago I
preached about the practice of slamming people who sign guestbooks. But dammit, I also
remember very fucking clearly mentioning that the reason I
wasn't down with the attacks against those people I mentioned was because they
weren't spamming. I'm pretty sure I also
recall mentioning how much I fucking hate spam, and that if
somebody were to spam the guestbook, the gloves would come off.
Well, kiddies, I definitely - definitely - consider full-page content-free HTML advertisements posted in guestbooks to be "spam". On the first offense. You would think that a would-be guestbook spammer would, after taking a good look around a site like mine, think "you know... this is maybe not the best place to do something stupid and irritating."
Tom, who named his page after a font, apparently never stopped to think any such thing.
Validate this site's existence. Affirm your own.